Heckle Hall Of Fame

Ever wonder what spectators are yelling at you as you ride the course? Let us introduce you to the heckle.  Sometimes funny, sometimes crude, but whether you love them or hate them, all the time ‘cross! Just remember when in doubt heckles are a somewhat perverse form of encouragement and should be more cheer then jeer.

Post in the comments below your favorite heckles you’ve either heard, given yourself, or received while deep in the pain cave. As always, please keep it clean, bleep out any foul language (we’d prefer if you didn’t use any at all), nothing rider or team specific, and only heckles (don’t comment that you “really like that one”), and above all else… keep it fun. We here at the CCC reserve the right to delete any posts that don’t belong and will block users who frequently break the rules above.

We’ll give The Bonebell credit for this idea, but its up to you the riders to fill in the rest.

For all you newbies… check out the Cyclocross Heckling primer written by our friends at PSIMET Custom Wheels.

145 thoughts on “Heckle Hall Of Fame

  1. Those are some pretty “Pro” shoes for someone that’s riding so slow…

    I didn’t realize the goal was to ride a slow as possible – I think you’re winning!


  2. while wearing my GoPro helmet cam “You’ve got something on your helmet”

    “You’re racing like your on a road bike, go faster!”

    “You’re getting beat by a girl” – of course I am.

    “You’re getting beat by a mountain bike, you can’t let that happen” – and I didn’t


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  4. “Taking first just like Contador does”
    Overheard after my brother (in 1st) got passed by 2nd after he dropped his chain.


  5. As rider was slowly stepping over a barrier:
    “It’s only a race, don’t bother to hurry.”

    “The bike has to go over(the barrier) too ya know.”


  6. yelled at a hippster who hadn’t shaved or groomed in a month, “the small village in your beard wants you to ride faster!”

    “you may be wearing wool, and your bike may match your socks that match your jersey, but your still losing”


  7. Overheard at USGP Planet Bike, shouted to a guy racing in his VeloNews kit: “Here’s the scoop! That guy’s about to pass you!”


  8. I was heckling a guy from My Wife Inc. at USGP Madison:

    “Your wife says go faster!” He smiled.

    On the next lap: “Your wife wants her money back!” He laughed as he remounted.

    After the race he came up to tell me my heckles had amused him. “But actually, I’m the only guy on the team who’s single.”

    My reply: “Maybe if you raced faster you could get a girlfriend!”


  9. Yelled to an Elite woman in 2nd place by a very nice spectator:

    “Come on, you’re closing the gap on her!”

    Her reply:

    “You’re lying”


  10. yelled at a guy riding next to me wearing a wind breaker. “Nice wind breaker IZOD, not even the juniors were that bundled up!”


  11. yelled at me: “You’re getting beat by a guy in cargo shorts!”

    yelled at the guy behind me: “The guy is front of you is wearing a bandana. You’re getting beat by a guy who thinks he’s a f**king pirate!”


  12. “There is only one Junior ahead of you this lap”

    “The record will show you ran down the hill”

    “I’m hitting on your girlfriend”

    elviscx 101010


  13. Said to a team rider behind me by his fellow team member…”you are getting beat by a guy wearing a performance bike jersey.” Even though they were refering to my jersey I thought it was funny.


  14. At Sunset Park when the Police motorcade rolled up:

    “The Police are here to give SLOW tickets. YOU’RE GETTING ONE!”


  15. Your mustache is falling off! (even tho it was a real mustache. I was laughing and wondering for half a lap if they knew it was real)


  16. Jason, at the start of the Campton race was addressing the Halloween costumes for call-ups. He said, “It appears that people dressed like they are Pro CX racers is the most popular costume”. The comment got a good chuckle from the start line.


  17. My favorite from this weekend (in regards to a certain team’s graphic design choices): “$5000 bikes… $5 kit.”


  18. I was having a little trouble getting around a tree at Montrose so I put my hand on it and pushed myself around it so I wouldn’t have to dismount. A GUY FROM MY OWN TEAM YELLED, “Quit hugging trees and race!”


  19. I just remembered that Kevin Klug commented on my “trials” moves on the podium boxes at Indian Lakes by informing me “that’s one way to get on the podium.”

    Can we get a handup HOF soon? I also recalled one I received this year that is sure to win.


  20. best non heckle heckle.

    our teamate comes across the line and says to the official “am i done?” the official looks at her and says “are you still racing?” it was the best non intended heckle ever!


  21. Mouthbreather!

    It was so good, it took me a few months to figure it out:

    “Mouthbreather: Someone who is ignorant to the social courtesies of public movement. consequently, they stifle the mobility of thinking humans by becoming an obstacle which must be negotiated. they can be identified by their despondent facial expressions and wide-open mouths.”


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  25. “Get to the pits! Your bike needs a rider change!”

    After two flat tires and a broken chain (all in the same race). A racer who will remain unnamed had his wife yell; “I didnt come all the way out here to watch you suck!!!!!”


  26. Right before Relay Cross Cat 4’s: “Your name is on the jersey, you better f-ing win.”
    During the Cat 4 Relay Cross race: “Don’t slow down you don’t have that much of a lead.”


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  28. A young kid at Montrose harbor…. ” Go Daddy….” then to me ” Go poopy baby face…. my dad is beating you….” classic…


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  30. Wife: You need to finish the race there will be help for you at the end
    Also: Your 80 plus year old mother rides faster then you

    Mother& Daughter: Dont let that old guy beat you, Mother: Your dad is an old guy


  31. Good job Honey your still on the bike
    They havent had to call an ambulance for you yet
    I think my wife was having way to good of time with the heckling


  32. So i am a senior in high school, and i ride a mountain bike in the New England cat 4 races, i was winning a race by about thirty seconds and i hear as i am hopping the barrier, “can i go to prom with you?”


  33. (As I was going through a sand-pit) Hey, singlespeeder! Did you know your Pompino means “Blowjob” in Italian?


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  35. To the Masters: “Hurry up and ride home already! There’s a Matlock/Perry Mason/Murder She Wrote marathon in ten minutes!”

    To the Juniors: “If you don’t go harder, there won’t be a Christmas/Hanukkah this year!”

    To the Elite Men’s race: “If you go harder, I’ll bake you cookies/go out with you!”

    Yelled at me in the Women’s Cat 4 race by the announcers: “Valerie: proof that no matter how heavy your bike is, you can still have fun.” By my friends: “Hey Valerie, when are you going to treat yourself to a REAL cross bike?”


  36. I have a bushy grey beard. Last year at Providence someone yelled through a PA “Galdalf! They Shall Not Pass!!!” I nearly fell off the bike I laughed so hard. I’ve bumped much younger racers from behind and said “Don’t let your friends see you get beat by a fat old man.” They are suitably motivated.


  37. I remember my first heckle at my first cross race – while nervously hanging onto the wheels of my two other teammates: “Finish your coffee and break up the clutch, ladies!”

    Overhead to a guy riding a bamboo bike “You gonna recycle that thing?”

    And my most helpful heckle: “just pedal faster!” Thanks.


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  39. Hollered at me during the 4/5 race at Caldwell Woods: ‘Your mustache says you’re faster than that ! ”
    I had to chuckle at that one. Good heckle.


  40. After a hard crash into barriers last year a heckler shouted “you’re a disappointment to Jesus!!!”
    My favorite so far.


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